The Day come sooner than i think

I have always wanted to take a break from my 9 years career, many thinking and planning has taken place for the past 5 months. I did not expect the day will come so soon. Tomorrow is the day that I have been dreaming of, hand in the “I quit” letter.

Argh ..  it does not like what I imagine, my heart cannot settle, the fearfulness is so real. Insecurity is hugging me tightly. This is harder than waiting result after interview. If not now, when will be the next time? Every time I have the strong urge to resign I convince myself and I take a step back. Slowly, I am immured and there goes my life. I cannot continue my life this way, the timing is right. Go and do it my girl.

Don’t let my career defined me

If there is a ruler to measure realism and idealism, I am definitely a down to earth girl since young. I growth up in a family where money and power is the centre of life. It is not surprise that I have a mind set of dream will not grants food on table. I major in marketing and finance because people said that is the way to earn money. I work in a bank after graduated because people said bank has the best benefits and they offer higher entry salary that time. That’s how it started, jump from one bank to another, paid get increased every jump. After 9 years, I stop and think beside having a career that seem giving me average life, what else do I have and what defines me. Take away my career what do I have? My career defines my life?

Stop here and shout out don’t let my career defined me! I deserve better life and value. Quit my career not my life, redesign my career living a new life.

Life is long or short

Recently, 3 people around me are taking the real steps towards retirement. Listening and looking at them make me felt the hole in my heart get bigger and deeper. 2 of them have been working for 20 years and now decided to focus on their own business/part time and the other one have to rest at home due to health issue. It makes me think, after 10 years if I quit, what is the things that I can depend on. The hole start digging 3 years back and it only goes one way in.

Generally, people spend 33 years at work if retire at 55. It is about half of our life if we live until 70. Life is long or short then? When it is suffering and bore, life is long; when it is heart-warming and interesting, life is short. Some said no matter life is long or short live it to the fullest. Fullest is another definition and measurement. 3 years , I really do not want after 3 years is the same.  3 years is long or short ? Hahahaha …. Unending ..